Feminism killed chivalry

 Being a woman kicks butt, we are incredibly capable, stronger than we know and can achieve anything we want. Feminism has helped encouraged women to see this which has been brilliant but its also come at the cost of femininity. Today I dive into the reasons why feminism without feminity creates a society women simply cannot have, its as unrealistic as a man wanting DD boobs on a size 8 girl- its impossible and its about time women started realising it.

In times gone by (and sadly even when we are around some types of men) we encounter archaic notions of what a woman should be like things that make you cringe at how ridiculous the beliefs are. Things like:

·      Women belong in the kitchen

·      Women should stay at home and look after the kids while the men work

·      Women cannot out earn men

·      A woman’s place is to not challenge the man

·      A woman must always serve a man

The list could go on but these are the most common ones the conversations often boil down to. These beliefs are utterly cringe worthy and they completely undermine the strength of a woman, what she has to offer and the power a couple can have when they work together as a team. They leave a man with all the responsibilities of finances (yet the inability to track the finances in a budget) and the woman with all the homely chores just like previous eras would have liked. They suggest that a woman’s life is over when they get married and have kids because they have to stop having a career to ‘be a wife or mother’ and that is all they are entitled to be. It is fabulous that feminism has changed this space and I’m incredibly grateful for it but there are aspects to feminism that remove femininity and turn women into whingers pining over the very things they eradicated, like chivalry.

There isn’t a woman that I haven’t met that boldly stated that they hated a man who thought carefully about them, who considered their needs and treated them like a princess. In fact, the vast majority of conversations amongst women revolve around the desire for their man (or future man) to treat them like a queen. Famous faces across the world including Beyoncé have encouraged women to demand to be respected by men but there is one step that is missing. Women reject this treatment citing feminist movements.

I cannot tell you how often I have heard a woman say, ‘I can do it myself’ when a man opens a door, offers to carries groceries or something else heavy or awkward for her. This is a problem. Women see this offer of helping them to be:

·      Hitting on them

·      Suggesting they are weak

Either way women have made it a power attack on their ego when it is NOT that at all. It is simply a random act of kindness they can choose to accept or not. Because women have become so used to feeling like they have to prove themselves they have turned off their ability to say YES when they are offered help, support or random kindness and this leaves no way for chivalry to blossom. This is a problem because women do this all the while whinging that men are not chivalrous- HELLO LADIES YOU CREATE THAT SITUATION.

When a woman is willing to accept the help of a man and see it as a kindness and not as something sleazy or as an attack on their ego then they have the possibility of experiencing chivalry because men will repetitively do what they know is appreciated. When a man knows that you will accept help with the groceries, heavy items or opening a door they will keep doing it while you keep acknowledging that you appreciate it.

So I encourage any woman reading this who wants their man to be more chivalrous or romantic to ALLOW THEM TO BE. Let them open the door for you, carry the groceries, if you must ask them to do it first and hopefully after time, they will do it as they see the appreciation you have for them while they do this. Remember when you stop these kind acts of help you will prevent the chivalry from continuing and that isn’t because they don’t want to do it anymore, its because you have taught them that it is no longer necessary. Create the environment, the relationships that you want.

Be feminine means allowing people to help you because you know you are stronger when they do. It is a masculine trait to refuse help and one that is not helpful in life nor leadership. We can lead the way in this by changing the way we connect with our lovers, male friends and family members.

Be a feminist with femininity in 2020 and see how beautiful life becomes.