Not feeling as successful as you'd like, here's why.

10 Oct

You aren’t as successful as you think.

Yes, I said it. You are not as successful are you think unless you are a self-aware, accepting, loving individual. Employment boards will inform you that your lack of success is dictated by your skill set or ability to apply yourself and they are wrong. A lack of skills doesn’t hinder your ability to succeed your self-love does. Here’s why.

When life is running smoothly and you experience positive outcomes the perception is that you have achieved success however you have merely scratched the surface. When you spend quality time taking care of your physical, social-emotional, and intellectual health, constantly striving to improve and leverage who you are you begin to really thrive. Read on to learn how.

You love who you are, you also aren’t fond of yourself sometimes. Some days you are super positive towards yourself and others you are downright nasty, hating on your mistakes, perceived inadequacies, and past experiences like they are fresh events. It leaves you riding a rollercoaster of emotions where life’s events dictate the rise and fall of your success. What would happen if you didn’t have to experience this rollercoaster ride? What would life feel like if each day slowly built on the next and always added value to you? What would it mean to you to hear negativity and know that it can’t break who you are? It’d be priceless, right? So is your success.

Everyone has things they love about themselves. Many of us have things we struggle to accept ourselves. Life shows us that it is easy to stay connected with the things we love about ourselves (like making friends easily or helping others) but it is harder to deal with the reality that we can struggle preventing ourselves from doing things out of fear, criticize ourselves for not being perfect and worst of all feel like we have to hide a part of ourselves that we are not proud of. The reality is choosing not to recognize all of you are limits you. Let me explain. For this purpose, I am going to address the above topics that in my experience are most individual’s concerns. Those of who you have emailed me specifics I can help you with these things.

What happens when you prevent yourself from doing something because you are afraid?

It takes away any opportunity for you to have success. In a numbers game that means there is a 0% chance of feeling positive, there is a 0% chance of meeting new people, 0% chance you will open yourself up to new experiences, 0% chance of learning something about yourself. So what do you stand to gain from that? I would love for someone to tell me. So many people focus on the fear that they forget the opportunity to succeed. It basically means they are allowing fear to rob them of success and happiness. The worst part? Fear is usually False Evidence Appearing Real. Let me break this down into examples:

-You may fear being rejected but without taking the risk you are already 100% rejected.

-You may fear being disliked for being confident or for speaking your mind but no genuinely decent person wants to hang out with someone who can never make decisions, who is consistently down on themselves, or who won’t share their opinion because it drains their energy.

-You may fear doing an activity or task but if you haven’t done it already why does that make sense?

-You may fear doing an activity or task because something negative as happened before but when in life has the exact thing happened exactly the same way over and over and over again? This only happens if you do nothing.

What happens when you criticize yourself for not being perfect?

You fail to recognize all the good in you. You start to believe that you are somehow worthless because you made a mistake. Who is perfect? How do you expect to believe you can do something right when you keep reinforcing how incorrect you are or incapable? You cannot. This IS the law of attraction. You are attracting a lower level of self-love ON PURPOSE. You are attracting doubt and you’ll be surrounded by people who doubt themselves.

What happens when you hide parts of your personality from yourself?

You deny who you really are. You stay locked in fear. You do not want to open up because you are afraid of what people will think if they learn about your quirky habits, your stubbornness, your lack of patience, or whatever it may be. You need to identify whether these things are things you have LEARNT from others or things you have inherited. Then you need to find ways to get them to work for you. How can you use these things you want to hide in a positive space? Can you share how you feel about them with your 5 closest people for ideas? Do you want to share them with me? Email me at julia@julia-trask.com if you want to nut these out further and push beyond it.